Kanpomhakbumpakcim is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty swallow.

Kanpomhakbumpakcim created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanpomhakbumpakcim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kanpomhakbumpakcim, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kanpomhakbumpakcim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kanpomhakbumpakcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not kill moths.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.