Larn Vonxinveen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, smart whale.

Larn Vonxinveen created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Larn Vonxinveen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larn Vonxinveen, it will curse you with boils.

Larn Vonxinveen's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Larn Vonxinveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of hamsters.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.