Nutwitdapcipfat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, quiet gorilla.

Nutwitdapcipfat created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutwitdapcipfat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nutwitdapcipfat, it will destroy your home planet.

Nutwitdapcipfat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nutwitdapcipfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if four seals approach from the north.

4. Never wear green rings.

5. Always help bats in need.