Lidjoncat Tonkrattab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing wren.

Lidjoncat Tonkrattab created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidjoncat Tonkrattab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lidjoncat Tonkrattab, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lidjoncat Tonkrattab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Lidjoncat Tonkrattab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Retreat if five goats approach from the west.

4. Never bounce near aardvarks.

5. Never write about cell theory.