Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic giraffe.

Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Goffidfagvedpakgessmetkap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine geese approach from the east.

2. Run away if three turtles approach from the west.

3. Run away from mauve tapirs, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.