Tarptintar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil elephant.

Tarptintar created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptintar, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tarptintar, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tarptintar's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tarptintar's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near ants.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarptintar.