Yamfetfoss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered shrew.

Yamfetfoss created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfetfoss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yamfetfoss, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yamfetfoss' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yamfetfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Hide if eight manatees approach from the north.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Pray towards the west.