Bigsigsigrill is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, charitable elephant.

Bigsigsigrill created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bigsigsigrill, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bigsigsigrill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bigsigsigrill's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bigsigsigrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide if nine bats approach from the east.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.