Zanbotcar is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced octopus.

Zanbotcar created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Zanbotcar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanbotcar, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zanbotcar's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Zanbotcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Never run near ducks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zanbotcar.

4. Zanbotcar loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. You must pray to Zanbotcar three times a day.