Bafrenflow is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent rat.

Bafrenflow created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafrenflow, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bafrenflow, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bafrenflow's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bafrenflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Always help bats in need.