Cissappwik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, caring capybara.

Cissappwik created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissappwik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cissappwik, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cissappwik's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cissappwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always obey Cissappwik's priests.