Safhugnad Jadlarggut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish crow.

Safhugnad Jadlarggut created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safhugnad Jadlarggut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safhugnad Jadlarggut, he will turn you into a goat.

Safhugnad Jadlarggut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Safhugnad Jadlarggut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear black kilts.