Arfbestrillflap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, amazing armadillo.

Arfbestrillflap created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfbestrillflap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arfbestrillflap, she will turn you into a tree.

Arfbestrillflap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Arfbestrillflap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Arfbestrillflap on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never think about nebulae.