Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish pigeon.

Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab, he will turn you into a duck.

Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect eight gold sculptures of Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab on top of important buildings.

3. Always obey Hugkemmilcap Arnkikvab's priests.

4. Hide if seven snails approach from the north.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.