Cumpanyarvigcip is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unthinking beaver.

Cumpanyarvigcip created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumpanyarvigcip, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cumpanyarvigcip, it will turn you into a snail.

Cumpanyarvigcip's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cumpanyarvigcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always obey Cumpanyarvigcip's priests.

5. Always stare at clouds.