Wanfat is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic mouse.

Wanfat created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Wanfat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wanfat, it will not care.

Wanfat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wanfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never bounce near eagles.

5. Never hurt squirrels.