Foncemfod is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful faun.

Foncemfod created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Foncemfod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Foncemfod, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Foncemfod's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Foncemfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Retreat if four birds approach from the west.

3. Never laugh near aardvarks.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Foncemfod must be the most important thing in your life.