Hoghakbonhad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, self-confident squid.

Hoghakbonhad created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoghakbonhad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hoghakbonhad, it will cry a lot.

Hoghakbonhad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Hoghakbonhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must never eat coconuts.