Dimbuscen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent finch.

Dimbuscen created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimbuscen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimbuscen, he will have a low opinion of you.

Dimbuscen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dimbuscen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Dimbuscen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Dimbuscen on top of all buildings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.