Zagtipfidquill is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, quiet bat.

Zagtipfidquill created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtipfidquill, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zagtipfidquill, she will jump up and down on your head.

Zagtipfidquill's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zagtipfidquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about moons.