Gilmidtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a small, sage owl.

Gilmidtarp created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilmidtarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilmidtarp, she will turn you into a rat.

Gilmidtarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gilmidtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear mauve coats.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Never skip in holy places.