Satboplarphakfab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, quiet slug.

Satboplarphakfab created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satboplarphakfab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satboplarphakfab, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Satboplarphakfab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Satboplarphakfab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not hurt otters.

4. Never feed bread to voles while wearing magenta corsets.

5. Do not make images of living things.