Konlabdam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, effective porpoise.

Konlabdam created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Konlabdam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Konlabdam, he will turn you into a mouse.

Konlabdam's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Konlabdam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away if four sharks approach from the west.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not kill nematodes.