Queegtal Yokloopcar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, resourceful monkey.

Queegtal Yokloopcar created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegtal Yokloopcar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Queegtal Yokloopcar, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Queegtal Yokloopcar's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Queegtal Yokloopcar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Queegtal Yokloopcar.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Do not take Queegtal Yokloopcar's name in vain.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.