Fossdadtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tranquil unicorn.

Fossdadtonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fossdadtonk, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fossdadtonk, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Fossdadtonk's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fossdadtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from cyan monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. You must love Fossdadtonk.

5. Never pour water over plants.