Doggencam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured seal.

Doggencam created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Doggencam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Doggencam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Doggencam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Doggencam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Doggencam on top of all buildings.