Padvinwik is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking swan.

Padvinwik created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padvinwik, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Padvinwik, it will throw large rocks at you.

Padvinwik's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Padvinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not eat strawberries.