Tarpcitsag Litfaspod is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, confident capybara.

Tarpcitsag Litfaspod created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcitsag Litfaspod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tarpcitsag Litfaspod, he will send you a sign.

Tarpcitsag Litfaspod's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tarpcitsag Litfaspod's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Never paint your neck violet.

4. You must pray to Tarpcitsag Litfaspod five times a day.

5. Never run near snails.