Tarptettividabtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring chinchilla.

Tarptettividabtonk created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptettividabtonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarptettividabtonk, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tarptettividabtonk's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tarptettividabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.