Bastkardaghud is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, capable pig.

Bastkardaghud created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Bastkardaghud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bastkardaghud, it will try to impress you with trees.

Bastkardaghud's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bastkardaghud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Hide from brown horses for they are unholy.

5. Never think about moons.