Pitbograk is a god.

It takes the form of a small, staggering tortoise.

Pitbograk created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbograk, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pitbograk, it will be very unhappy.

Pitbograk's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Pitbograk's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Never think about gravity.