Mapvegwon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless bear.

Mapvegwon created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapvegwon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapvegwon, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Mapvegwon's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Mapvegwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about cell theory.