Yartzansat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, staggering bird.

Yartzansat created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartzansat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yartzansat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yartzansat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yartzansat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartzansat.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.