Donvid is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing clam.

Donvid created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Donvid, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Donvid, it will refuse to believe in you.

Donvid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Donvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Do not take Donvid's name in vain.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.