Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent horse.

Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Dimsistab Hudfarnzed Ontlikkop.