Parkzakflownuttmit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented hamster.

Parkzakflownuttmit created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkzakflownuttmit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Parkzakflownuttmit, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Parkzakflownuttmit's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Parkzakflownuttmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Do not chop down trees.