Nurtfedhit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic monkey.

Nurtfedhit created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtfedhit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtfedhit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurtfedhit's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Nurtfedhit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Hide if three snails approach from the south.