Janbesttaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ruthless sheep.

Janbesttaf created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Janbesttaf, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Janbesttaf, he will turn you into a worm.

Janbesttaf's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Janbesttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Never talk about gulls.