Tomdibfit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, slow gerbil.

Tomdibfit created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomdibfit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tomdibfit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tomdibfit's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tomdibfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Do not covet oxen.