Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic aardvark.

Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Meggidsug Vintamveghenkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Retreat if five rats approach from the north.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Hide if seven cats approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.