Paktapgargep is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, confident meerkat.

Paktapgargep created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Paktapgargep, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Paktapgargep, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Paktapgargep's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Paktapgargep's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Paktapgargep loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Do not shave your legs.