Hitvinlag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical octopus.

Hitvinlag created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hitvinlag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hitvinlag, she will turn you into a frog.

Hitvinlag's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hitvinlag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill foxes.