Panbigbimquat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, irritating elephant.

Panbigbimquat created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panbigbimquat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Panbigbimquat, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Panbigbimquat's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Panbigbimquat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never sing in the presence of tortoises.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not listen to music.