Lakcemlimtenman is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy shrew.

Lakcemlimtenman created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakcemlimtenman, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lakcemlimtenman, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Lakcemlimtenman's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lakcemlimtenman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat wheat.