Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate pig.

Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin, he will turn you into a goat.

Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mobpigtab Lagwodteenvigkin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear blue skirts.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Hide from pink voles for they are unholy.