Naksakfedmegmonquimbam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, stupid eagle.

Naksakfedmegmonquimbam created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Naksakfedmegmonquimbam, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Naksakfedmegmonquimbam, he will laugh at you.

Naksakfedmegmonquimbam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Naksakfedmegmonquimbam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three porpoises approach from the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Pigs are not to be trusted.

5. Never look in ponds.