Larnrenbig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, capable gorilla.

Larnrenbig created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnrenbig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larnrenbig, it will turn you into a mouse.

Larnrenbig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Larnrenbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.

2. Never jump near eagles.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect six lead sculptures of Larnrenbig on top of important buildings.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.