Sawgudlim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering rhinoceros.

Sawgudlim created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawgudlim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sawgudlim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sawgudlim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Sawgudlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sawgudlim on top of all buildings.