Bancatruttlabjat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, overgenerous hare.

Bancatruttlabjat created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bancatruttlabjat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bancatruttlabjat, he will turn you into a dog.

Bancatruttlabjat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bancatruttlabjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three iron sculptures of Bancatruttlabjat on top of important buildings.

2. Never paint your hands orange.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.