Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish donkey.

Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dotfudgodbinmiffidvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Retreat if five geese approach from the east.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.